Do you remember comedian Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might be a Redneck If…" jokes? He found hilarious ways to define the concept of redneck America, while pointing a good natured finger at himself. All in good fun, his jokes were as much a definition of how not to be considered tactless and boorish as how to be deemed so.

If you are pulled over by the police, you are likely not going to be in a lighthearted mood. Therefore, before that possibility occurs, take a few funny minutes to learn what not to do so you can sidestep a trip to jail.

1.If you start the interaction with an overdose of polite compliments about the officer's uniform, hairstyle, or commitment to the force, you might be going to jail. Police know the smell of insincerity, and it triggers an appetite to find out just where it's coming from. Wait for the officer to initiate conversation and tell you why you were stopped.

2. If you attempt to convince the officer that someone distantly related to you has influence in the police department, you might be going to jail. This isn't a movie, and you aren't as important as you think. Officers know desperation when they hear it, and it sounds like guilt. Just answer the questions and take the ticket.

3. If you argue with the officer about how stone cold sober people can't pass sobriety tests, you might be going to jail. Actually, sober people can and do pass those tests, but right now you're standing in the street weaving around with your arms looking like windmill blades. Concentrate on the test, and let your lawyer broach the scientific protests in court.

4. If you tell the officer you know your rights, and you don't use them, you might be going to jail. Police officers definitely know your rights, and if you keep squawking instead of remaining silent, you might talk yourself into a pair of handcuffs. Shut up and ask for a lawyer.

5. If you don't know how the bail bond process works, you might be going to jail. Unlike the other items on this list, this one is no joke. Smart people know that, depending on where they live, many offenses qualify for bail right after booking so they don't have to spend the night in jail. Contact a company like Absolute Bail Bonds if you need a bail.

Getting arrested is no laughing matter. If you are stopped by the police, be respectful, compliant, and mindful of your rights. If you end up in the back of a police cruiser anyway, know how to bail out once you're booked. Don't be the butt of a joke!